Archive for February, 2010

Surprise! Republicans agree to health care reform! No, wait…

February 25, 2010
By Steve Hart
Surprise! Republicans agree to health care reform! No, wait…

Despite repeated attempts Thursday to come together, sitting around a square hollow table, over 30 of our nation’s most distinguished square hollow legislators continued to fuss and fight.
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The Summit on Health Care Reform Arguments

February 24, 2010
By Steve Hart
The Summit on Health Care Reform Arguments

The White House, in preparing for the summit to be broadcast live from Blair House, spent the better part of the past week arguing with Republicans over the size and shape of chairs, the size and shape of tables, the color of lamp shades and drapes and which incense to burn during scheduled guided...
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The sacred Awa hili…

February 23, 2010
By Steve Hart
The sacred Awa hili…

The killing of an eagle was an event which concerned the entire village. The actual deed was undertaken only by a professional eagle killer, a man regularly chosen by the village for his knowledge of the prescribed prayers and ceremonies needed to seek forgiveness for the sacrilege.
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Canada: “This Means War!” or…health care reform.

February 22, 2010
By Steve Hart
Canada: “This Means War!” or…health care reform.

Now, (the President) has added incentive: holding off the Canadian invasion threat by trying to make our health care system look more like their health care system. The president will today announce a cap on health insurance premium increases – some of which have topped 31 percent lately – in an effort to appease...
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CPAC: pep rally for the discontent!

February 19, 2010
By Steve Hart
CPAC: pep rally for the discontent!

“Politics hates a vacuum,” once wrote Naomi Klein. “If it isn’t filled with hope, someone will fill it with fear.” So, with that in mind and the Congress home on winter break, the annual pep-rally for destroying what’s left of this great republic, CPAC, came to Washington to cheer and jeer and generally make a...
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Dr. Frazier Azov explains Florida cold…

February 18, 2010
By Steve Hart
Dr. Frazier Azov explains Florida cold…

Lots of weird stuff happens when it gets cold in Florida. Things like coconuts shrink and fall off. In fact, the whole state contracts a bit, which widens the beaches and puts off for a while any discussion of sea level rise. It’s a sad sight to see pelicans warmin’ their beaks over electric heaters....
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Evan Bayh runs from XPAC, hip conservatives…who wouldn’t?

February 17, 2010
By Steve Hart
Evan Bayh runs from XPAC, hip conservatives…who wouldn’t?

Evan Bayh: “My head hurts, my feet stink,...“And I don’t love Congress...“Oh my Lordy, it’s just that kinda mornin’,...“Really was that kind of night.” Maybe what really drove Sen. Bayh out of Washington was the coming annual onslaught of right-wing cheerleaders and assorted twinks know as CPAC, which stands for Cranky People Always Crying, or...
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Snowlympics and Whack-a-Dick-Mole Cheney pops up again!

February 15, 2010
By Steve Hart
Snowlympics and Whack-a-Dick-Mole Cheney pops up again!

So, to deal with the Whack-a-Mole pop-up again, the White House dispatched Vice-President Joe Biden and the two Veeps engaged in a virtual debate. Lowering the boom on his predecessor, Biden calmly explained Cheney is either “misinformed or he is misinforming,” while circling his right ear with an extended index finger. Cheney countered by...
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Winter brings rise in moronic levels across USA!

February 12, 2010
By Steve Hart
Winter brings rise in moronic levels across USA!

And speaking of what Easterners are calling the, “snowpocalypse” (harsh winter weather won’t stop hyperbole), the snow gives morons all across ‘Murka the opportunity to say, “Hey, look, it’s snowing! There’s no global warming after all! Back to the Hummer!...and I don’t mean the truck.”
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Snow and hand puppets and Republican VD…day cards

February 10, 2010
By Steve Hart
Snow and hand puppets and Republican VD…day cards

It’s snowin’ the bejeepers outa the Northeast US of A, which means nobody can get to work, which means everyone has to sit at home and make Sarah Palin hand puppets while callin’ each other retards for thinking the snow completely disproves global warming.
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