Evan Bayh runs from XPAC, hip conservatives…who wouldn’t?

Sung to the tune of Don McLean’s, “American Pie”…

“So bye-bye, Mr. Evan Bayh…“Daddy drove me to the Congress…“But the Congress was dry

“And good ol’ boys are watching ‘Murkin’s die…“Sayin’, this’ll be the day I say bye…“This’ll be the day I say bye.”

Or, to paraphrase Jimmy Buffett:

“My head hurts, my feet stink,…“And I don’t love Congress…“Oh my Lordy, it’s just that kinda mornin’,…“Really was that kind of night.”

So, the two-whole-generation Bayh Dynasty in the U.S. Senate will come to an end in December. Lord only knows what buffoon the good people of the Hoosier State will next send to the World’s Most Exclusive Club. Remember, this was the same state that gave us Dan Quayle. Just sayin’.

Oh well, good riddens to Evan who, by the way, is no Birch. If only John Mellancamp would run! Bumper sticker: “Put a Cougar in the Congress!”

Maybe what really drove Sen. Bayh out of Washington was the coming annual onslaught of right-wing cheerleaders and assorted twinks know as CPAC, which stands for Cranky People Always Crying, or something like that.

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any more bizarre or extreme, it gets more bizarre and extreme with the introduction this year of XPAC, a new “hip” version of the Hitler Youth that will sure to have you movin’ and grovin’….if not retching and kvetching.

Well, here’s how the Faux News describes this veritable mosh-pit of political extremity:

“Outside, Lou Dobbs is waxing cranky on the country’s economic decline,” says the Faux News. “Inside, the hip crowd will be playing video games, watching movies, eating snacks and listening to rap music.”

Wow…far out, man, groovy. So, okay, when does the panty raid start at the women’s dorm?

Seriously, you just can’t make up this stuff.

The XPAC website just sizzles with exciting “hip” teases for its “Epic Nites” (sic).

“On Thursday night, Stephen Baldwin will conduct an insightful conversation between Fox News’ Andrea Tantaros and Sarah Huckabee over the future of the GOP, the ideas of conservatism, women in politics, and the outlook for the nation,” it reads. “The ’10 questions with Stevie B’ is something worth making room in your schedule for.”

Oh, and by the way, bring your own grammar. Sounds like a really swingin’ time, though, all you hep-cats and cool-daddies.

Maybe somebody will drop by, leave a quarter so they can buy a clue.

Tags: Andrea Tantaros, Birch Bayh, CPAC, Don McLean, Evan Bayh, Faux News, Fox News, GOP, Jimmy Buffett, John Mellancamp, Lou Dobbs, Sarah Huckabee, Stephen Baldwin, XPAC