Oh Boy! It’s almost here! Can’t wait!
The Legend-Before-Its-Time Summit on Health-Care-Reform-Arguing will take up six hours of time Thursday on the TeeVee Box.
The Winter Olympics will be suspended. Wall Street will shut down. Trains and airlines will grind to a halt. And Republicans will put cotton in their ears, stomp their feet and act like petulant children being dragged to the principal’s office.
Okay. None of that is true – except the last part.
The White House, in preparing for the summit to be broadcast live from Blair House, spent the better part of the past week arguing with Republicans over the size and shape of chairs, the size and shape of tables, the color of lamp shades and drapes and which incense to burn during scheduled guided meditations.
A grateful nation heaved a sigh of relief earlier today when the Republican congressional delegation finally agreed to a square, hollow table – because it suits them.
According to Politico, that thoughtful online apologist for big business, the Democrats unstated goal of the health care summit is “to make congressional Republicans look like a bunch of whiny, cynical, ideologically bankrupt crybabies who don’t have a plan of their own.”
Ha-ha-ha, congressional Republicans are doing a pretty darn good job of that all by themselves.
But don’t be fooled. Despite holding overwhelming majorities in both the Senate and the House, Democrats can’t quite seem to adopt measures to reform the nation’s health care system.
So, given study released in late 2009 by the Harvard Medical School which suggested 45,000 Americans are dying each year because of our flawed for-profit health care system we can expect 30.8 people to die during the six-hour health care summit…and another 30.8 will die each six hours the Congress fails to adopt needed reforms.
We don’t mean to say Congress isn’t doing ANYTHING.
The Senate actually managed to adopt key measures toward a jobs bill…and five Republicans voted with the Democrats!
But Downtown Scotty Brown, the newly-elected nekkid truck driver who is now sitting in Ted Kennedy’s seat, found out just how mean his teabagger buds can be.
The angry malcontents spanked Brown’s nekkid truck drivin’ butt loud and hard on the Facebook thingy and Magic Twitter Machine after he voted with the Democrats on the jobs bill.
“LYING LOW LIFE SCUM HYPOCRITE,” was, I believe, a representative post.
“BROWN, YOU JUST REMEMBER DOUCHEBAG…WE ARE WATCHING YOU!!!!,” was, I believe, another. Both in all caps.
Ha! Fun, ain’t it, Scotty? That’s a really nice crowd you hang with. This will also probably mean less interest in his daughters.
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