Tony Hayward: I’d rather be sailing…
An important message from British Petroleum CEO Tony Hayward:
Dear American Friends,
I am happy to report to you, this morning, from the lovely weather and clear seas of the British coast where we all enjoyed a most spectacular weekend racing aboard my beloved Farr 52 yacht, “Bob,” in the legendary Round the Island Race hosted by JP Morgan and the Island Yacht Club.
Oh, I know what you may be thinking: why in the world would Ol’ Tony go racing while that nasty oil is still leaking slightly into the Gulf of Mexico?
But let me re-emphasis my point. This was the Round the Island Race, one of the most important yacht races of the year in Britain and as anyone will tell you racing proficiently on the Solent is challenging for any sailor.
It was not all champagne and roses, let me tell you. We only managed a forth place finish, due to extremely poor crew work on the start. The sandwiches were mushy by lunch time and the beer a bit flat.
To top it all off, we were beaten by our old nemesis John Caulcutt aboard his 57-foot Swan ketch…a KETCH, for God’s sake!!
Nonetheless it was exciting to see 1,600 yachts out on the water with spinnakers flying.
Let me be clear, also, to some of you naysayers. This was no ordinary race; not like racing around the Mississippi Sound from some of those miserable excuses for yacht clubs in Biloxi and Gulfport. Sailing at night between the unlit drill pipes is harrowing.
Sure, the Southern Yacht Club is very nice but, really, yachting on the square waves of Lake Ponchartrain is piss-poor compared to the majestic waters around the Isle of Wight.
What I mean is I realize that nasty little business in the Gulf of Mexico has disrupted the lives of many small people but it was good to get my life back for a bit and be among my mates racing the wind and that buggery Swan ketch.
After all, the Gulf of Mexico is a very big body of water; the world’s biggest lake, really. And the amount of volume of oil and dispersant we are putting into it is tiny in relation to the total water volume.
Please, we have lots of ocean left and let me tell you it was glorious this weekend on The Channel.
Yes, yes, yes. I know we told you in the beginning the Deepwater Horizon rig was only leaking about 5,000 barrels a day. But we have since revised that figure, trying to be accurate always, to perhaps around 100,000 barrels a day…give or take a few thousands barrels a day.
And, yes, I know BP stock has lost roughly have its value since the little incident began but let me assure you we have plenty of cash so the small people needn’t worry. You’ll get your pittance when we’re ready for you to have it.
In the meantime, I have much more important matters to consider. I realize after this weekend’s racing, I probably need to upgrade Bob’s sail computers and I’m thinking, maybe, a new set of sails might be in order.
Cheerio! And good luck to you all, fair weather and good sailing!
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