stevehartflorida.com

A little snark and life on this big ol' sandbar…

‘Murkins to Washington: You Suck!

It is Le Quatorze Juillet and Americans are storming the metaphorical Bastille!

At least, according to yesterday’s ABC-Washington Post opinion survey:

58 percent of you think the President sucks.

68 percent of you think Democrats suck.

72 percent of you think Republicans suck.

150 percent of you think BP sucks.

80 percent of Ohioans think LeBron James sucks.

100 percent of South Floridans think Lebron James is a superhero and the greatest basketball player of all time and are danged glad to see him in a Heat uniform.

50 percent of you think the American League sucks.

50 percent of you think the National League sucks, even though it finally won an All-Star game.

78.3 percent of you are glad we no longer have to listen to Vuvuzelas bogging on the TeeVee Box speakers.

46 percent of you would rather vote for a sucky Democrat than a sucky Republican.

47 percent of you would rather vote for a sucky Republican than a sucky Democrat.

Ah, yes…but 42 percent of you think Democrats are less sucky on economic issues while only 34 percent of you think Republicans are less sucky on economic issues.

62 percent of you think the Congress wouldn’t suck so bad if it extended unemployment benefits. Another 36 percent said Congress would suck worse.

60 percent of Southeast Alabamians say they don’t want a Teabagger representing them in the Congress.

100 percent of Mama Grizzlies don’t always know when something is wrong and only read about their daughters’ re-engagement to baby daddy Levi Johnston on the cover of US Weekly magazine.

Pastor Mark Elliott told the TEDGlobal 2010 Conference in Oxford (England, not Mississippi) 80 percent of Americans believe in miracles.

First Lady Michelle Obama told the NAACP 80 percent of all Americans believe in Miracle Whip…and we should cut it out!

80 percent of all right-wing nut jobs believe First Lady Michelle Obama should leave our children alone and let them be fat.

55 to 60 percent of our food contains high fructose corn syrup.

Over the last 30 years, we’ve increased our consumption of high fructose corn syrup by 1000 percent.

In addition to making us fat, diabetic, lethargic and riddled with heart disease, .0000000003 percent of us (me) also think fructose makes us dumbasses.

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