Although much of the clap-trap they circulate remains.

Here’s what happened: The Sun let loose last Sunday with a coronal mass ejection, what scientists who watch heavenly bodies on computer screens like to refer to as, “the money shot.”

This sent millions and millions of tiny, supercharged particles – electrons, proteins, carbohydrates – all hurdling toward Earth at 2.5 million miles per hour. That’s really, really fast.

Even the tiniest particle is gonna smart if it hits you at 2.5 million miles per hour and scientists feared the worst. Pat Buchanan, blabbering as he usually does on MSNBC, revealed to us that Thomas Jefferson thought the punishment for sodomy should be castration.

It was through intense astrophysical mind melds possible only during geomagnetic storms that Buchanan could access the thoughts of Thomas Jefferson in just such a way.

Nonetheless, a federal judge in California ruled as unconstitutional the nitwit Golden State plebiscite banning gay marriage and now, thankfully, gay people in California are free, once again, to become as hopelessly bogged down in marriage at straight people.

The reaction to the ruling by the homophobe underclass was, of course, to immediate accuse the federal judge of being gay. Why else, they said, would he allow for one class of people to enjoy the rights given to other classes of people? Oh yea…and when will “gay” stop being an accusation?

The hurtling particles did not stop the U.S. Senate from confirming Elena Kagan as U.S. Supreme Court Justice, despite GOP predictions of the nation’s imminent collapse. She will be sworn in on Saturday but this will still not stop SCOTUS from granting the full rights of individuals to our corporate masters and it’s only a matter of time before some giant retailer like Target gives a wad of cash to right-wing fear mongers who support crazy extremists for posts like governor of Minnesota.

Perhaps, however, the geomagnetic storm is responsible for a reported alliance between Google and Verizon which could, it has been suggested, lead to express lanes on the super information highway where only rich people and companies willing to pay more will get access to the really groovy stuff on the InnerTubes while the rest of us will be left with Hulu and the Fox News website.

This leaves us with one startling if not confirmed result of the geomagnetic storm. It appears one supercharged particle might have actually made its way through the carbon-ladened atmosphere to strike an 18-wheeler carrying 39,000 pounds of 5-blend shredded cheese near Pensacola, Florida.

The truck immediately caught fire leaving fried and melted cheese all over Interstate 10.

With nothing left to clean up in the Gulf of Mexico, crews from BP were immediately dispatched to the scene with 40,000 pounds of crackers.

It’s the arrogance that grows only from an extreme lack of knowledge serving as a cover for ignorance.

It’s a mentality best embodied in the redneck’s famous last words, “here, honey, hold my beer…watch’is,” as he guns his four-wheeler up the pile of manure in an attempt to jump the double-wide in a single bound.

It will not end well.

There’s a lot of bubba thing on Capitol Hill, these days.

Senator Graham to U.S. Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan: “Christmas Day bomber. Where you at on Christmas Day?”

Nominee Kagan: “I’m assuming you’re asking whether a person apprehended in the United States…”

Sen. Graham (interrupting): “No, I just asked you where you were at on Christmas.”

Nominee Kagan (after some laughter): “You know, like all Jews I was probably at a Chinese restaurant.”

Deflected with great wit to the back-hand of Bubba Graham’s stereotype, Kagan easily made fun of such nonsense without the bubba even realizing it.

Lotta bubbas runnin’ ‘round loose, these days.

If the terminally unconscious of the South can be termed, bubbas, the terminally unconscious of the North might be called, peacocks.

Lotta peacocks, too, struttin’ ‘round – proclaiming they know better how to limit carbon pollution & climate change than 90 percent of the world’s scientists.

Unlike nearly everyone else in the world, some peacocks refuse to accept the notion that carbon pollution won’t be curbed until a hefty price is attached to it. Simple, really: make polluters pay for their sins.

But, nooooooo, shout the climate peacocks. This is not a price on pollution! It’s an…wait for it…wait for it…”energy tax.” Yea, that’s the ticket.

As long as we take a national energy tax off the table, there’s no reason we can’t have clean energy legislation,” said Sen. Lamar Alexander of Tennessee…a bubba peacock.

“I wish the president would focus his attention on stopping the spill and cleaning it up instead of trying to use this crisis as an opportunity to push for a new national energy tax,” said Sen. Mitch McConnell of Kentucky…also a bubba peacock.

But it’s a flat out lie.

We can’t move forward on creating new forms of clean energy until we find money to pay for that advancement and the best way – so far – to pay for accelerating the drive for clean energy to make polluters pay for their pollution.

It’s not an energy tax. It’s a fine for destroying the climate. Bubbas and peacocks, the ignorant and the deceitful.

As a nation, we’re better than that.

Hey, y’all watch’is.

You gotta admit that. We get even funkier when we ride election cycles fast down busy streets, hit a slight bump and find ourselves suddenly and quite pointedly reminded how hard the narrow saddle of democracy can be.

It all seems so painful at that very moment but we just keep peddlin’.

Whether you know it or not, we’re knee deep in a very funky election cycle and by that I don’t mean a good Art Neville funky beat.

If you believe the national press meme, incumbents are as endangered as the Gulf of Mexico and all those it sustains.

Two incumbents have gone down in the past five days – TWO – out of 471 congressional seats up for re-election this year and, oh my heavens, we got us a landslide!!

Add on top of that all this funky talk of a U.S. Supreme Court nominee being Lebanese.

The Wall Street Journal, that even handed newspaper of insightful journalism, even ran a photograph of SCOTUS nominee Elena Kagan playing softball, which is apparently very popular in Lebanon.

Do we care if Supreme Court nominees play softball? No, we do not. We just want them to be good, decent, social-justice-lovin’, let-freedom-ring, radical left-wing jurists for a change.

– BREAKING: We interrupt this silliness to bring you the breaking news that Tampa, Florida has been selected as the site of the GOP National Convention in 2012. Do they know Tampa is home to brown, black and gay people? That is all. –

So, the second incumbent to fall in a week did so yesterday in West Virginia, which so often leads the nation in hillbilly politics.

U.S. Rep Alan Mollohan, a 14-term Democrat (sorta), lost a party primary battle to a young upstate state senator who out-GOPeed the quasi-Democrat for the victory by vilifying the incumbent as just not right-wing enough. AND THESE ARE THE DEMOCRATS!

The Republican who State Senator Mike Oliverio will meet in the November general election better be bringin’ those Neanderthal genes hot ‘n heavy to bring the cave people out in force.

Mollohan’s big crime was that he voted in favor of health care reform, this despite him carrying solid pro-life credentials.

Because he supported better health care for all Americans – and in West Virginia, dental care is a big deal – the pro-life crew aborted its long standing support. After all, one can’t claim the pro-life banner and be in favor of better health care.

They also turned against him because he supported doing something to slow climate change and Lord knows we don’t need to change the climate in West Virginia.

Not to be outdone in hillbilly politics, the gubernatorial race in Alabama has turned the clock back to the 1920s where GOP front-runner Bradley Byrne (seriously) was accused of favoring the teaching of evolution in public schools. Byrne, for his part, countered that, by God, he believed every word in the Bible to be true and dictated directly by the Supreme Being to her secretary!

This after some weeks ago when fellow GOP candidate Tim James, son of former governor Fob, made a big deal out demanding driver’s license examinations be given only in English, the God-given language of the Bible.

Maybe the national punditry has it all wrong. Maybe this is not necessarily the year of the anti-incumbent. Maybe it’s just a good year to have a shallow gene pool.

Naw…just kidding.

The SCOTUS nod goes to current U.S. Solicitor General Elena Kagan, noted socialist and prostitute according to right-wing extremists who also say they don’t like her haircut, a little too short for their liking.

The political scene is really bonking for lack of adequate nutrition.

Here’s the good news about Kagan: no one, but no one, doubts her brilliance and precision as a thinker and writer, analyzer of exquisite detail and thoughtful narrative. The Senate’s already voted to confirm her as solicitor general.

Okay, okay…but will she vote to overturn Roe v. Wade…that’s what’s important to the extremists.

Answer: Oh, hell no! Now, y’all go on about the bidness of eating your own and leave the Supreme Court to the grown ups.

But they won’t. They’ll try anything they can think of to try to destroy Kagan, all reasons having nothing to do with her potential as a supreme court justice.

They’ve already called her a prostitute. How much lower can they sink?

Writing in the National Review, no less, some hack named Ed Whelan questioned Kagan’s principles with the famous G.B. Shaw quote, “We’ve already established what you are, ma’am. Now we’re just haggling over the price.”

After being roundly criticized, the Whelan character backtracked a bit to explain everyone uses this quote – you know, to call people whores.

And speaking of solid principles and loyalty, the extremists ate one of their own heroes over the weekend.

The good people of the Utah GOPeeparty, meeting in convention, ousted three-term U.S. Senator Bob Bennett because he isn’t pure enough. It’s rumored he actually knows and has spoken with African Americans, Latin Americans and, perhaps, women!

You see, the Utah GOPers get together in a convention to decide which Republican Utah will elect to national offices such as the U.S. Senate. This year’s back room deal turned into a teabagger convention and out went Sen. Bennett.

The reason? Just not conservative enough. Heck, he voted in favor of President Bush bail-out of big banks and talked to Democrats about health care reform.

In the addled brains of teabaggers this simply will not do. I mean this guy was the employer of Howard Hunt when he and G. Gordon Liddy broke into the Watergate to bug the Democrats…and he’s no longer conservative enough for the baggers. Whew!!

Hmmm…Mitt Romney, Karl Rove and Newt Gingrich all like him. They are so out of step with the baggers.

And finally, from the “Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry” file, it seems farm animals are not safe in Florida.

Despite repeated attempts, the Florida Legislature failed to outlaw animal diddlin’ in the Sunshine State; an issue sure to raise its ugly head in the race for the U.S. Senate.