They get their tiddy-whities all twisted up in knots and start sputterin’ an’ cussin’ and sayin’ really smart stuff like, “I’m not a racist, you’re a racist for callin’ me a racist.”

All the while, holding a sign which reads, “Obama Agenda: White Slavery.”

It would be laughable…except it’s not.

No one knows better than the NAACP how suggesting much of the GOTeaParty rabble is caught up in the great American tradition of racism. You’ll remember how about three months ago the NAACP stirred up the hornets’ nest, including and especially the GOTeaParty propaganda ministry, Fox News, and had them yammerin’ all over themselves in defense. Futile defense but hilarious.

The GOTeaParty defense of such obvious racism and meanness has always been to claim these well-documented episodes are merely random and isolated, not really connected with the good white folks of the official GOTeaParty.

So, okay. Let’s check this out. The NAACP did exactly that and today released a report prepared by the Institute for Research and Education on Human Rights which documents specific and indisputable ties between many teabagger groups and white supremacist organizations.

The report describes what it calls links between tea party factions and white supremacist groups, anti-immigrant organizations and militias, according to the Kansas City Star.

Not only have tea parties given platforms to extremists, the report states, the movement is a recruiting ground for hard-core white nationalists who are “hoping to push these (white) protesters toward a more self-conscious and ideological white supremacy.”

The report’s authors examined government documents and databases, including court cases, campaign finance reports and corporate filings, according to the Star.

“This is the first data-driven report of this type on the tea parties,” said author Devin Burghart. “Understanding their membership structures was the crucial first step that enabled us to understand the complexity of the tea party movement and to be able to specify the role of racists and bigots in the movement.”

The reports findings include:

•The St. Louis-based Council of Conservative Citizens, the largest white nationalist group in the country, has both led and promoted tea party protests. Roan Garcia-Quintana, a member of ResistNet who served as media spokesman for a 2010 Tax Day Tea Party in South Carolina, is on the national board of directors for the Council of Conservative Citizens.

•Clayton Douglas, a former information officer for the New Mexico Militia, is a member of the ResistNet tea party. He uses his profile on the ResistNet website to advertise his own “Free American” website, on which he promotes anti-Semitism.

•The Wood County Tea Party in Texas is led by a woman who used to be involved with the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan.

•The 1776 Tea Party — also known as TeaParty.org — is led by Stephen Eichler, executive director of the Minuteman Project, an anti-immigrant border patrol group often referred to as vigilantes.

Maybe this doesn’t rise to the level of a senatorial candidate not understanding the separation of church & state or Mrs. Clarence Thomas drunk-dialing Anita Hill…but, still, it’s funny…except it isn’t.

Forget the Yankees vs. the Red Sox. Forget boxers vs. briefs.

Forget George W. Bush’s world of “haves and have mores.” Besides, the Have-Mores own us all, anyway, grabbed us by the short-sales.

We are now officially a society divided with “Yes, we can” and “But should we”? The Yes people on one hand and the But people on the other.

Yes, the Republicans could nominate Sarah Palin as their presidential nominee in 2012 but should they?

Yes, the Alabama Crimson Tide could repeat as NCAA men’s football champions in 2011 but should they?

Yes, some jack-legged network on the TeeVee Box could start yet another inane reality series filled with half-wits and degenerates but should it?

Yes, the Republicans can base an entire campaign season on fear mixed with xenophobia, homophobia and religious bigotry but should they?

Yes, you can wear a striped shirt with plaid pants but should you?

Yes, two billionaires in Florida can try to buy their way into state and national elective office but should they?

Can the voters of Florida be so stupid as to elect those two billionaires? Yes, yes, we can.

Yes, we can believe Jesus manifests himself on a piece of cheese toast but should we?

Yes, Dr. Laura can repeat the “N” word…over and over in rage…and continue to do her show on the live radio but should she? (Ha-ha-ha! No, by her own admission, she shouldn’t.)

And, while we’re at…yes, Douche Limpbranch and Gin BecksBeer can continue to spew their own versions hatred and lies on the live radio each afternoon…but should they?

Yes, we can pick the Miami Dolphins to win the AFC East and possibly even go to the Super Bowl but should we?

Blago can continue to proclaim his innocence on 23 out of the 24 counts but should he?

News Corp., the parent corporation of the Faux News Channel can give $1 million to the Republican Party but should it?

We can continue to claim it somehow violates…something or other…if gay people get married but should we?

Yes, Brett Favre can play again for the Vikings but should he?

Yes, the Tea Party can attempt a hostile takeover of the Republican Party but should it? (For Democrats, the answer would be, “why, yes, please!”)

Gin BecksBeer can spew his racism and hatred on the anniversary of M.L.King’s “I Have a Dream” speech but should he?

We, as a nation, can continue to eat garbage fed to us by giant, thoughtless corporations and grow so fat that when we sit around the house we really sit around the house but should we?

We can ignore the suffering due to floods in Pakistan but should we? We can forget about Haiti but should we?

We can continue to feign a, “yes, we can,” attitude but, at the same time, question our every initiative and cave in to right-wing fear and hysteria…but should we?

It seems there is a conspiracy among Baptists, led by Kentucky’s GOP nominee for the U.S. Senate, to worship a mysterious deity known to followers as the Aqua Buddha.

Oh sure, Rand Paul denies it now – while also claiming now to be a Presbyterian – but many years ago while a student at Baylor University and a member of the university-tormenting NoZe Brotherhood Paul allegedly tried to lead a female swim team member to the river to be baptized in weed and the Aqua Buddha. At least according to GQ Magazine.

“I will categorically deny that I ever kidnapped anyone or forced anybody to use drugs,” Paul said on the Faux News Channel.

Ah, yes, but you see here is where it went wrong. If he’d only attended Southern Methodist University he would have seen the light and realized the true path to Aqua Buddha enlightenment is pot brownies and beer.

At least we can thank him for launching Max & Davina with Sirius Isness and a world wide movement of trance floor fillers, the spearhead of the global trance explosion.

Somehow, I blame Sarah Palin.

And for Sharron Angle and Ken Buck, as well. These three, clearly stable human beings may just combine with Florida’s Medicaid-reimbursements-gone-wild potential GOP goober-natorial nominee Rick Scott could end up being the d’Artagnan, Athos, Porthos & Aramis of the 2010 political scene. (“tous pour un, un pour tous!”)

Only, with luck, no one gets beheaded.

Sharron Angle is the Nevada GOP nominee and Tea Party favorite to unseat U.S. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and only a month ago her quest seemed a sure thing. But then she opened her mouth.

Out came such things, paraphrased here, as “hey, let’s kill Social Security,” and “maybe violent revolution is the way to reform this country.”

Then there’s Colorado GOP Senate nominee Ken Buck, who will face incumbent Democrat Mike Bennett who won his party’s nomination yesterday with the full support of President Obama.

Buck, who made it clear during the primary campaign he does not wear high heels and is not, therefore, a woman like his primary opponent also suggested his Tea Party compatriots who believe the President to have been born in Kenya just might be, as he so delicately put it, “dumbasses.”  This endeared him to his base.

And, finally, we have Florida’s Rick Scott. A multi-millionaire and former CEO of the embattled Columbia-HCA hospital chain, Scott is spending $34 million of his own cheese to become governor of Florida because he sees how well current Gov. Charlie Crist has made out in that office.

Angry that GOP primary opponent Bill McCollum, Florida’s current attorney general and long-time political veteran, would question his company’s…er…”problem” with allegations of Medicare fraud found himself served him with a subpoena yesterday at the beginning of a hastily arranged press conference.

Scott was going to denounce McCollum for investigating the $1.7 billion Medicare fraud fine paid by HCA-Columbia a decade ago.

“This is a clear abuse of power. This is exactly what thugs do in third-world countries to keep power,” Scott said. “Bill McCollum is the Tonya Harding of Florida politics.”

Said the Tallahassee lawyer who served the subpoena, ““I’m doing God’s work. I’m not doing this for any campaign. This guy Scott is the corporate spawn of Satan.”

It seems everyone could use a little Aqua Buddha right about now. Or, maybe, Ramadan. Or, just maybe, the Transfiguration.

Although much of the clap-trap they circulate remains.

Here’s what happened: The Sun let loose last Sunday with a coronal mass ejection, what scientists who watch heavenly bodies on computer screens like to refer to as, “the money shot.”

This sent millions and millions of tiny, supercharged particles – electrons, proteins, carbohydrates – all hurdling toward Earth at 2.5 million miles per hour. That’s really, really fast.

Even the tiniest particle is gonna smart if it hits you at 2.5 million miles per hour and scientists feared the worst. Pat Buchanan, blabbering as he usually does on MSNBC, revealed to us that Thomas Jefferson thought the punishment for sodomy should be castration.

It was through intense astrophysical mind melds possible only during geomagnetic storms that Buchanan could access the thoughts of Thomas Jefferson in just such a way.

Nonetheless, a federal judge in California ruled as unconstitutional the nitwit Golden State plebiscite banning gay marriage and now, thankfully, gay people in California are free, once again, to become as hopelessly bogged down in marriage at straight people.

The reaction to the ruling by the homophobe underclass was, of course, to immediate accuse the federal judge of being gay. Why else, they said, would he allow for one class of people to enjoy the rights given to other classes of people? Oh yea…and when will “gay” stop being an accusation?

The hurtling particles did not stop the U.S. Senate from confirming Elena Kagan as U.S. Supreme Court Justice, despite GOP predictions of the nation’s imminent collapse. She will be sworn in on Saturday but this will still not stop SCOTUS from granting the full rights of individuals to our corporate masters and it’s only a matter of time before some giant retailer like Target gives a wad of cash to right-wing fear mongers who support crazy extremists for posts like governor of Minnesota.

Perhaps, however, the geomagnetic storm is responsible for a reported alliance between Google and Verizon which could, it has been suggested, lead to express lanes on the super information highway where only rich people and companies willing to pay more will get access to the really groovy stuff on the InnerTubes while the rest of us will be left with Hulu and the Fox News website.

This leaves us with one startling if not confirmed result of the geomagnetic storm. It appears one supercharged particle might have actually made its way through the carbon-ladened atmosphere to strike an 18-wheeler carrying 39,000 pounds of 5-blend shredded cheese near Pensacola, Florida.

The truck immediately caught fire leaving fried and melted cheese all over Interstate 10.

With nothing left to clean up in the Gulf of Mexico, crews from BP were immediately dispatched to the scene with 40,000 pounds of crackers.

Tropical storms and hurricanes are meteorological bullies.

The only difference between hurricanes and human bullies is hurricanes can do real damage.

Human bullies are usually just thugs; insecure brats who act out because of deep, empty holes in their souls. They only time they do any real damage is if they actually gain some sort of power: political or financial.

Think dictators, fascists, greedy money traders, giant corporations, oligarchs, plutarchs.

American political history is rife with bullies. The corporate barons of the gilded age, come to mind; Sen. Joe McCarthy. Father Charles Caughlin was the first political bully of the mass communications age. These were all 20^th Century phenomena.

This current crop of bullies in the 21^st Century is no different, really. Sure, they have their own network at Fox. But they’re really no different than any others in history.

Limbaugh, Beck, Ingram, Breitbart, Hannity, Savage, O’Reilly…they’re all just bullies. They make a lot of money, of course, because heavy corporate interests use them to advance the agenda of middle-class destruction and wealth distribution – up to the wealthy and corporate interests.

But they’re really just bullies. This Breitbart thug and his cronies at Fox did some real damage this week, bullying the Obama Administration, the NAACP and a fine public servant, Shirley Sherrod. But they’ve done it before. Think Van Jones, ACORN. Think racists bullies…which is, of course, redundant.

It’s a shameful history repeating itself.

FDR has his bully faction to deal with (Not to be confused with TR’s bully pulpit!)

FDR had the American Liberty League. Formed in 1934, the Liberty League was funded by the Dupont Family and their corporate buddies to oppose labor unions and FDR’s New Deal policies.

Supporters included U.S. Steel, General Motors, General Foods, Standard Oil, Colgate, Heinz Foods, Chase National Bank, Goodyear Tire and Rubber and many other corporate giants of the day.

The league rallied support for the conservative-dominated U.S. Supreme Court to overturn FDR’s agenda. (Remember the court-packing episode in FDR’s tenure?) A suggestion exists they even tried to stage a coup.

The only difference between then and now is that many of the prominent leaguers were Democrats. Al Smith, the Democratic nominee for president in 1928 was a leader, as was Dean Acheson, who would become Harry Truman’s Secretary of State, and 1924 Democratic nominee John W. Davis.

The effort died out in 1940. The greater good at the time was served so much better by FDR’s reforms and actions than by continued greed.

But the message was much the same then as now: “defend and uphold the Constitution, lower taxes, more freedom.” Hollow bromides masking the real intent: power to exploit.

They certainly had their way, got much of what they wanted during the Bush years. Now, we’re cleaning up the mess – financial calamity, oil in the Gulf of Mexico, two needless wars, massive federal debt.

The bullies of today would rather we keep the mess. It’s easier to exploit a society in shock and chaos.

Sarah Palin, the former half-governor of Alaska, which can see Russia from its front porch, may be on to something.

We’ve become a nation of such intellectual giants we can only hope, now, to elect presidents in the future based on the number and obsequiousness of words they completely make up.

Forget writing books – and I mean really writing books, not having someone else write it. No more, Profiles in Courage. Forget about, The Audacity of Hope.

We’re talking, here, about the audacity of dopes. We’ll just make up words, apply them with malapropitude and may the best mangler win!

This is why Palin is tied with – or maybe even leading – President Obama in 2012 polls.

Make up words! Dazzle the Dilberts with shiny syntactical objects! Go ahead, you’ve the legs for it!

Performing magic tricks on the Faux News tee vee box show with Shame Humanity, Palindrome suggested the President should REFUDIATE the NAACP (or maybe the NCAA) for suggesting the racist TeaParty is racist.

Within moments, the blogosphere and twitscape were ablaze with chortles and guffaws. (“Have you been injured in a humorous accident? Call the law firm of Chortles & Guffaws, LLP.)

Realizing the linguistic lapse, after a while, Palin tried to distance herself from the gaff.

Ha-ha-ha! No, she didn’t.

She chose to compare herself to Billy Shakespeare who was also elected president by making up words – right after he invented the fishing pole.

“Refudiate,” “misunderestimate,” “wee-wee’d up.” English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. Got to celebrate it,” she tweeted…really, not making it up.

So, with all the refugnance due the intellectual leader of the Refublican Party, she will refulse any grandiosity toward resfect for the English language of which she speaks and move our refublic toward a refroachful refrobation of refulsve refose.

After all, who needs any intellect to be president? No the Refublican Party! (See: 2000 to 2008.)

President Obama would do well to heed the warnings and begin immediately a program of language mutilation if he hopes to have any chance at all in 2012 with the half-wits.

Even if he has not the legs for it.

Coincidence?

Hmmm….Did passage of a Wall Street reform bill play any role in any of this? (Maybe it would have if any real reform had been passed.)

Hmmm…did anyone ever see Ringo Starr and Yasser Arafat in the same room at the same time?

Did someone forget to tell HTC-Columbia’s Mark Renshaw there is NO HEAD-BUTTING in Le Tour de France?

All thanks and praise be to Glenn Beck for revealing to us that politically progressive people are enemies of God.

“The word was, ‘hot dog.’ And we ate it!” – Pastor Rod Flash.

Back in D.C. the both Republicans and Democrats were quick to…wait for it…find fault with each other in the earthquake. (Credit: @DCDebbie)

Fox News found the fault lay in the Black Panthers Movement…of the 1960s.

As U2 once suggested: shake, rattle and hmmm…

Thank heavens, the Teabaggers were quick to deny any and all racism in the racist tea party rants such as those from teabag leader Mark Williams who posted on his blog, MarkTalk.com, a whimsical imaginary letter from the NAACP to President Lincoln:

Dear Mr. Lincoln

We [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People have taken a vote and decided that we don’t cotton to that whole emancipation thing.  Freedom means having to work for real, think for ourselves, and take consequences along with the rewards.  That is just far too much to ask of us [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People and we demand that it stop!

In fact we held a big meeting and took a vote in Kansas City this week.  We voted to condemn a political revival of that old abolitionist spirit called the ‘tea party movement’.

…rant…rant…rant…taxes…tea parties not racist…taxes…rant…whatever…

…Mr. Lincoln, you were the greatest racist ever.  We had a great gig.  Three squares, room and board, all our decisions made by someone else.  Please repeal the 13^th and 14^thAmendments and let us get back to where we say that belong.

Sincerely

Ben Jealous, Tom’s Nephew,  National Association for the Advancement of Colored People Head Colored Person

Nope, no racism in that at all.

Just can’t imagine where folks come up with the idea these right-wing fascists are racists.

And morons.

In many ways, Sen. Byrd’s growth as a legislator and person embodied the growth of the American people in the 20^th Century: from narrow-minded fear to an embrace of a much broader view of the world and compassion.

Ah, yes, but if only we could drag along that boisterous minority that clings to fear as its primary motivation.

Fear of losing something they have.

Fear of not getting something they want.

Fear of others acting in ways they deem inappropriate.

Fear in the electorate is fueled by the desire of the political minority to achieve ultimate power. But those seeking power at all costs fail to understand electoral power in the good ol’ US of A can’t be realized without…um…the backing of the people. At least, not yet.

And one-dimensional historical interpretations can not tell a complete or accurate story.

Take, for example, the small minority who fear the Obama Presidency. Who knows why they really fear President Obama. Who knows if it makes any sense, politically or philosophically? It’s just fear and fear – by any measure – is irrational.

The President could hold a press conference today to announce the sky will continue to remain blue and Fox News would immediately campaign to its minions to oppose such an outlandish projection.

The GOP once found Fox News convenient and useful. Having an entire network at a political party’s disposal is very useful, indeed, and unprecedented in American politics. But it’s been quite evident for a while that rather than the GOP controlling Fox News, the Fox has been put in charge of guarding the GOP hen house.

The GOP has grown increasingly cloistered in the hollow and howling absurdities of the Fox.

Never before has such a weak and fear-driven minority been given such a disproportionately loud voice.

One of Fox News’ latest campaigns has been to demonize – yet again – the Obama Administration’s successful effort to get Gulf of Mexico destroyer BP to cough up $20 billion for an escrow fund to pay for damage.

According to a CNN poll, 85 percent of Americans support that move by the President. Only 5 percent of Americans think President Obama has been too tough on BP.

And, yet, Fox News trot scores of protagonists to defend BP against the harsh attacks by President Obama. The Fox is shoutin’ but the chickens ain’t listenin’.

Maybe rather than Fox, the network should rename itself the News That Cried Wolf.

One final note: Frances Cobb Hart would have turned 81 today. Bless her.

It’s the rednecks, themselves! (‘Cause, Lord knows, ain’t nobody else gonna.)

Some of ‘em, anyway, put down their beers long enough to turn off the Fox News Channel and emerge from their double-wides to start a campaign to bring justice to this most persecuted minority.

“There’s no identifiable group more persecuted, humiliated, embarrassed, singled out for ridicule, fired from jobs, kids suspended from school, civic groups represented being denied parades than the confederate southern Americans of the United, States,” says Kirk D. Lyons, chief trial counsel of the Southern Legal Resource Center.

Okay, Okay…I know, I know. Stop laughing now.

These guys are, unfortunately, quite serious.

Kirk D. Lyons and the boys want all – seriously, not making this up – they want all “confederate southern Americans” to so self-identify on U.S. Census forms in the 2010 Census.

Heck fire, they got movies on the YouTube and a page on the Facebook talkin’ about this very thing!

Here’s the logic: the Census asks us to identify ourselves by race or national origin. The Southern Legal Resource Center says “national origin” can include anyone who’s ancestors lived in or fought for the Confederate States of America for the almost four years it existed – um, in rebellion against the real United States of America.

So, you see, because of what Lyons and his buddies like to refer to as the “Wo-ah of No’thun Aggression,” these descendents have long been persecuted and embarrassed.

And here’s the kicker. He cites the 1964 Civil Rights Act as justification for this Census declaration because it established the “national origin” distinction in the Census forms.

That’s rich, ain’t it?

Seriously, Kirk…buddy…come here a minute. Let me explain something to you: there’s a REASON you feel so embarrassed and put-upon.

You might recall a little something about 400 YEARS OF SLAVERY…followed by another 100 YEARS OF OUTRIGHT VIOLENCE AND PERSECUTION of FORMER SLAVES and THEIR descendants.

Just sayin’.

One of the most shameful chapters is all of human history and you want to continue to celebrate it? Really?

And while you’re at it, take down that damned confederate flag! It’s never been anything but a symbol of hate and it will never be anything but a symbol of hate.

Those of us fortunate enough to be born in the southern U.S. have many ways to truly celebrate our region’s “heritage.” We celebrate in our manner of speech. We celebrate in our food. We celebrate in our rich literature and music. We celebrate in our oft-fabled hospitality and friendliness. We celebrate in our diversity, in our human coat of many colors. We have an unparalleled opportunity today to embrace the speech, food and music of many different cultures and celebrate our combined cultural splendor.

Oh, and by the way, don’t confuse the Southern Legal Resources Center with the Southern Poverty Law Center, which has for years and years fought the good fight against racism, ignorance and hate – as southerners!

There’s a whole lotta folks out there gonna need some serious medical attention, soon, if this national political discourse gets any more violent! Is mental health care covered in the reforms?

Holy Crap! What’re you people thinkin’? Death threats, spittin’ at members of Congress, callin’ ‘em horrible names, throwin’ money at Parkinson’s patients…and that’s just in my family!

“Correct me if I’m wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they put me under the jail and throw away the key.”

“Not the golfers, you idiot. The gofers!”  (Slaps Carl with Tam O’Shanter.)

“Oh…we can do that. We don’t even need a license.”

Even the centered, staid NPR felt like it had to devote nearly an hour Thursday to the violent rhetoric and threats peeling across the political marketplace.

And then, of course, comes along the Faux New Channel – whistling and rolling eyes – saying it’s a “bad atmosphere” and wondering where all this comes from?

Gee, can’t figure it out.

The good news is Glenn Beck has is all figured out: It’s the radical bomb-throwing hippies of the 1960s, the people now in charge of the fedrul gov’munt; they are the ones poking and prodding the teabaggers into atrocious threats of violence.

All we need, says Beck, is the finger of God.

Glad we have Sarah Palin who’s promised to – seriously – “target” members of Congress who voted in favor of healthcare reform.

“Commonsense Conservatives & lovers of America: Don’t Retreat, Instead – RELOAD!” Palin shouted on the Twittermachine.

And on her Facebook page, Palin displayed a map of her targeted congressional members, with gun sights to locate their districts.

“Well aim for these races and many others,” she writes. “This is just the first salvo in a fight to elect people across the nation who will bring common sense to Washington.”

Yep, the common sense of targeting and aiming and salvos…peaceful talk.

Nope, just can’t imagine where all these poor teabagger folks are getting the notion to be angry and violent.

Peace to you.