But enough of the small stuff. The really important stuff happened in New Orleans over the weekend when the southern confederate Republican leadership wallowed in self-pity and self-hate to warn us of the dangers of this president who don’t look like all the other presidents.

Just like Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour explained, all the hub-bub over Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell proclaiming April as Confederate Heritage Month? Well, that don’t amount to diddly…and not Bo Diddley, neither, unless he wants to sing us a song and wail on that little box guitar!

No siree, bob…we got real problems in this country and they all start with smart, insightful people regaining control of the fedrul guv’munt and, well, we just can’t have that. They might do something – already have – to help us progress toward a better world when what we really want is to roll back the clock 150 years and fight the slavery war all over again!

You see, in addition to protectin’ their only source of power – ig’nurt hillbillies who are easily persuaded to vote against their own interests – bombast and demagoguery are the only talent they got. Sure ain’t governin’. (See history: 2000-2008.)

Where, oh where is Andrew Jackson when we really need him? What? Drunk and mean again? Great, bring ‘im on!

It’s hard to explain, though, how a Yankee like Mittens Romney won the straw poll at the southern confederate Republican leadership gathering. But be something about a shiny object that glimmers in the lights. Sheen is good.

“Don’t retreat. Reload!” shouted shiny object Sarah Palin, while quickly explaining she doesn’t mean by that we should not resort to violence. By, “reload,” she means putting more ammunition into guns.

She also reportedly distributed reindeer jerk on which the mob could chew while she talked.

“Don’t tell me you’re a Republican and then go spend all the money,” said Texas Gov. Rick Perry. (Again, see history: 2000-2008)

Eye-of-the-Newt Gingrich warned the crowd Obama and the Democrats are a secular, socialist machine. “Two plus two equals four,” Gingrich said, which is just about all the math the crowd could handle.

Oh well, it appears bombast alone won’t save the nation so it will be up to the “snake oil-based, global warming, Gore-gate crowd,” as Palin up it, to save ‘Murka and the world – from itself.

But, oh blessed Jesus, they can always rely on the superior wit of folks like alleged comedian Victorian Jackson who told a separate (but equal) teabagger rally over the weekend, “it doesn’t matter if (Obama) has a birth certificate or not, he’s not an American.”

Sweet.