Or…

“I’ll take a venti triple mocha latte with two extra shots…one in the cup and one at your head.”

That’s right. If you haven’t heard by now, you need to know the pin-head knuckle draggers who insist on carrying guns in their pants because they fear they have little else to carry in their pants are pulling the trigger on sanity around the country by staging gun-toting gatherings at Starbucks.

Their aim, you see, is to prove to the world what extreme bullies they can be by carrying guns into Starbucks – and other restaurants – in states where it’s legal to openly carry guns – 24 states, to be exact.

Yes, you read that correctly: it is now legal to openly carry guns in 24 states and two more – Virginia and Arizona – are expected soon to follow suit and become a backdrop for cowboy movies. Guns are allowed now in playgrounds and sports fields in Tennessee.

It’s insanity, really.

Seriously, give me a good reason for carrying a gun into a Starbucks or a California Pizza Kitchen or a Buckhorn Grill or any other restaurant…except, of course, to rob it at gun point.

You’re right. There isn’t one. But that matters little to the mouth breathers who continue to insist they need guns to make up for their lack of self esteem.

Hey morons! Try a little therapy…or contemplative prayer…or yoga, for Heaven’s sake.

The good news is The Brady Center is trying to counter this craziness.

All this comes as the U.S. Supreme Court may be on the brink of relaxing gun laws even more and…oh, yea, did we mention that last night a gun-toter shot up the Pentagon and wounded two police officers?

And from the Tell-Us-Something-We-Don’t-Already-Know Department, comes a leaked memo and PowerPoint show in which Republican operatives suggest using “fear” as a tactic to raise money and win votes in the 2010 elections.

Hmmm, really? Gee, we’ve never seen Republicans do that before. (See: Senator Joseph McCarthy; See: Donald Segretti; See: Karl Rove) But, apparently, this time they mean it.

The strategy, unveiled by the Republican National Committee’s finance group at a gathering of party officials February 18^th in Boca Grande, Florida, suggests the best way to raise money from the very rich is to scare them with cartoons and tell them socialism and President Obama will take away all their money!

Cartoons mocking President Obama, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid warn of “the evil empire” run by “Curella DeVille and Scooby Doo.”

Issues, anyone? Debate, anyone? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Guns, fear and cartoons! That’s what made ‘Murka great!