It’s the rednecks, themselves! (‘Cause, Lord knows, ain’t nobody else gonna.)

Some of ‘em, anyway, put down their beers long enough to turn off the Fox News Channel and emerge from their double-wides to start a campaign to bring justice to this most persecuted minority.

“There’s no identifiable group more persecuted, humiliated, embarrassed, singled out for ridicule, fired from jobs, kids suspended from school, civic groups represented being denied parades than the confederate southern Americans of the United, States,” says Kirk D. Lyons, chief trial counsel of the Southern Legal Resource Center.

Okay, Okay…I know, I know. Stop laughing now.

These guys are, unfortunately, quite serious.

Kirk D. Lyons and the boys want all – seriously, not making this up – they want all “confederate southern Americans” to so self-identify on U.S. Census forms in the 2010 Census.

Heck fire, they got movies on the YouTube and a page on the Facebook talkin’ about this very thing!

Here’s the logic: the Census asks us to identify ourselves by race or national origin. The Southern Legal Resource Center says “national origin” can include anyone who’s ancestors lived in or fought for the Confederate States of America for the almost four years it existed – um, in rebellion against the real United States of America.

So, you see, because of what Lyons and his buddies like to refer to as the “Wo-ah of No’thun Aggression,” these descendents have long been persecuted and embarrassed.

And here’s the kicker. He cites the 1964 Civil Rights Act as justification for this Census declaration because it established the “national origin” distinction in the Census forms.

That’s rich, ain’t it?

Seriously, Kirk…buddy…come here a minute. Let me explain something to you: there’s a REASON you feel so embarrassed and put-upon.

You might recall a little something about 400 YEARS OF SLAVERY…followed by another 100 YEARS OF OUTRIGHT VIOLENCE AND PERSECUTION of FORMER SLAVES and THEIR descendants.

Just sayin’.

One of the most shameful chapters is all of human history and you want to continue to celebrate it? Really?

And while you’re at it, take down that damned confederate flag! It’s never been anything but a symbol of hate and it will never be anything but a symbol of hate.

Those of us fortunate enough to be born in the southern U.S. have many ways to truly celebrate our region’s “heritage.” We celebrate in our manner of speech. We celebrate in our food. We celebrate in our rich literature and music. We celebrate in our oft-fabled hospitality and friendliness. We celebrate in our diversity, in our human coat of many colors. We have an unparalleled opportunity today to embrace the speech, food and music of many different cultures and celebrate our combined cultural splendor.

Oh, and by the way, don’t confuse the Southern Legal Resources Center with the Southern Poverty Law Center, which has for years and years fought the good fight against racism, ignorance and hate – as southerners!