BREAKING NEWS: Here, on the 100th day of the Gulf Oil Disaster, the New York Times announces the Gulf is all good now. Nothing to see...move along...go on about your business...thanks for playin'. Gee, who knew it would be so easy?
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Takes one to know one!!
Just the bear facts…
What, exactly, is with the extremist right wing in this country and all the talk of animals and shootin’ guns and teeth-barin’ metaphors?
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Under siege by a foreign corporation…
The bad news is we’re now officially under siege by a foreign oil corporation and being held hostage by its greed, incompetence and general disdain for humankind and Mother Earth. But the good news is…oh, wait, there isn’t any good news.
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Junk shots all over the place!
BP or “Beyond Petroleum-and-into-destroying-one-of-the-world’s-great-oceans” will get a visit today from President Obama. He will, no doubt, kick their corporate ass before donning his Aquaman suit, swimming down 5,000 feet and plugging the volcano himself with one of the whale carcasses he may find.
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Stupid is as stupid votes…
It’s one thing to be really mush-brained but think you have all the answers and put them out there in public for all the world to see and hear. But it’s a whole other level of dumbass to go out there in public and defend dumbass, blame it one someone else or – especially...
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Pit bulls, pigs & mama grizzlies
“"The mama grizzlies, they rise up. You thought pit bulls are tough. You don't want to mess with the mama grizzlies. And I think there are a whole lot of those in this room."
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Oil’s well that ends well!
"The ocean will take care of this on its own if it was left alone and left out there," radio carnival barker Douche Limpbranch told the St. Petersburg Times. "It's natural. It's as natural as the ocean water is."
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Gulf of Mexico: America’s sewer!
But what the hell, right? It’s just the Gulf of Mexico. We’ve been using it as America’s sewer for years now, flushing all kinds of poisons down the Mississippi River to the Gulf of Mexico. Whatever. We’ll just burn the Gulf of Mexico…and Mexicans could then walk to Florida and avoid Arizona altogether!
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You just can’t make up this stuff…
Okay, so here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna take it to the streets! Grab your wheelchairs; we’re headed downtown to protest by breathing and sneezing on people!!
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Why bother with nuclear weapons when we got demagoguery!!
We got real problems in this country and they all start with smart, insightful people regaining control of the fedrul guv’munt and, well, we just can’t have that. They might do something – already have – to help us progress toward a better world when what we really want is to roll back the...
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