While lip-readers were in short supply, all on my staff having been sent to the palm-reader for the evening, most agree Alito mouthed, “not true,” to the president as he called out SCOTUS for its outrageous ruling last week that corporations are people, too.

We have it on good authority, however, that what Alito really said was, “kiss my white ass.” Or, more specifically, “kiss my white hunky ass.”

“With all due deference to the separation of powers,” said POTUS to the SCOTUS in the SOTU. “Last week, the Supreme Court reversed a century of law to open to the floodgates for special interests – including foreign corporations – to spend without limit in our elections.”

“Kiss my white hunky ass,” mouthed Alito from the second row, only feet from the President.

“Well I don’t think American elections should be bankrolled by America’s most powerful interests, or worse, by foreign entities. They should be decided by the American people and that’s why I’m urging Democrats and Republicans to pass a bill that helps right this wrong.”

At that, Alito’s face grew grim and red.

“Oh, yea?” he mouthed. “Want to take it outside? You and me, you scrawny little upstart. I’ll bring Goldman Sachs, GE and Bank of America and we’ll make you cry like a little girl.

“And besides,” he continued to mouth. “We don’t care what the American people think or what the Constitution says. This court decided the 2000 election and, by golly, we’ll decided 2012 if we have to.”

By the way…a CBS poll taken immediately after the speech found 83 percent of the viewers approved of the President’s message and his proposals. A CNN pool found 48 percent liked the speech, 30 percent sorta like it and 21 percent didn’t like it at all.

The poll also found 80 percent of those polled think Obama could take Alito in a fair fight while the remaining 20 percent picked Alito in two rounds.

“The Exxon-Mobil U.S. Senate will come to order. The ConocoPhillips chaplain will lead the ING Group Senate in prayer.”

“Most merciful Goldman-Sachs, fountain of wisdom and goodness, guide our lawmakers with your insights and contributions. When confused thoughts emerge straighten them with your payoffs and bring us into conformity with your will.”

“Thank you. May General Electric always bless you.

“Please join me in reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.”

(IN UNISON)

“I pledge allegiance to the bottom line of Royal Dutch Shell and to the corporations for which it stands; one market under General Motors with liberty and justice for all multi-nationals.”

“The HSBC Holdings Clerk will now read a communication to the Valero Energy Senate.”

“Chevron’s Washington, District of AIG. January 22, 2010. To the Exxon-Mobil Senate. Under the provisions of Rule One, Paragraph Three of the Exxon-Mobil Senate, I hereby appoint the Honorable Senator Blanche Lincoln, a senator from from AT&T to perform the duties of the chair. Signed Robert C. Byrd, president pro-tempore and appointee of J.P. Morgan Chase.”

“The Verizon Majority Leader.”

“Madam UnitedHealth Group President, following the remarks of the Verizon Majority Leader leader, the IBM Senate will resume debate on a measure to confirm the naming rights and license of the U.S. News Corp. Supreme Court building, thereby signifying our benefactors’ control over every last remaining portion of our once great government and extending those rights to the individuals of this great land whose pockets will be gratefully emptied.

“Madam Home Depot President, I yield my time to the Honorable Lindsey Graham, Senator from Proctor & Gamble.”

“Madam Sony President, before I begin I must compliment the chair on the lovely new Wal-Mart decal emblazed on your suit. It is striking and upholds the highest ideals of our corporations.

“Thank you, Senator. And might I say the Morgan Stanley tattoo on your forehead is quite becoming.”

“Thank you, Madam Bank of America President, this bill upon adoption will grant inexorable freedoms to our people, the freedom to be owned exclusively by our benefactors. By formally naming the building which houses our highest corporate court of the land, exalting our justices and increasing at last the long-sought-after transparency of our corporate government.

“Madam Credit Suisse President, this legislation will be followed, of course, by the measure to brand with hot irons our population for the purposes of indelibly indentifying them as the wards and province of our benefactors.

“Madam LG President, I yield the balance of my time.”