“How I Kicked My Ex-Husband’s Ass and His Huge-Budget 3-D Space Fantasy Movie With A Low-Budget War Movie.”

Or…something like that.

James Cameron spent the rest of the night in the hurt locker while sending his avatar around to all the Oscar parties.

It’s amazing – and perhaps shameful – it took 10 years into the 21^st Century for a woman to win the Oscar for Best Director.

Oh well, so much for the liberal-Hollywood stereotype.

Meanwhile, there is no truth to the rumor President Obama, A Serious Man, will attempt to cash in on the Oscar buzz by renaming his health care reform, “The Hurt Locker.” While passage remains Up In The Air, the President is insisting Congress give him an Up or Up vote on health care reform and will travel to District 9 in Pennsylvania today to give voters there An Education about the Inglorious Bastards who keep hitting him from The Blind Side.

Oh yea…and…Avatar. Whatever.

Back in Washington, the Democrats would love to get back to actual legislating after spending the last couple of weeks working around various ethics problems in the House of Representatives. (See: Charlie Rangel.)

This freshman congressman from New York, somebody sadly named, Massa, will resign today after admitting he admitted to one of his male staffers he’d like to “frack” him…whatever that means. He also says House Minority Whip Heny Stoyer is a liar and his fellow Dems want him out of Congress because he opposes health care reform.

Would someone please explain this: why do Democrats resign from Congress after getting caught with their hands in someone else’s cookie jar while said Congress is still populated with shoe-tamping, diaper-wearing, philandering, parents-pay-off Republican…er…members?

Finally, while her life could possibly be a movie – a bad one – Sarah Palin also seems to have cashed in and out on Oscar week festivities.

The Hollywood press is abuzz with reports that Palin, never far from a trailer park, stopped by an Oscar swag suite with her daughters, brother and an entourage and came away with bags full of free cosmetics, a slinky robe and other groovy stuff.

The reports also say she gave a $1,700 donation to the Red Cross for its work in Haiti.

All this while shopping around ideas for TeeVee shows and quitting as a stand-up comic on the Jay Leno show.

Maybe, someday, Palin will find a career that suits her and leave the rest of us alone.